My Peanut

Let us start with a little background…

I‘ve wanted to have a baby since I can remember, but wanting a baby and knowing that you could be a parent, aren’t always the same thing. It took watching someone I love die of cancer to realize I could take care of another human being. Not just logistically but emotionally. With all of my heart. Problem was, once I realized that I had to ask myself if I could deal with the heart break that comes from watching that person hurt, being helpless when I can’t provide what they need, and worst of all possibly losing them. Could my heart stand to get ripped out?

When I turned 30 I committed to getting pregnant. Being single, this meant some assistance in the form of unconventional methods of conception. I won’t go into further detail as to how my little peanut came to be, but I will say that if any of you out there have questions about IUI and IVF fertility treatments I am more than happy to have a conversation with you.

Fast forward to five years later (five painful years of blood sweat and tears… literally)… Winter of 2018 I recieved the best Christmas present, the only thing I wanted, an ultrasound of a little peanut shaped human bean growing inside me. I was finally pregnant. That ultrasound, that tiny peanut, was the beginning of two things: I would refer to my tiny human as Peanut, and my heart was as full of love as it was fear in a way I never even knew existed.

My pregnancy was ridiculously easy (except for a few bruised and busted ribs lol), but I paid for it with a delivery that was a complete nightmare. Imagine waterboarding + an exorcism. I still get anxiety thinking about it. And the nurses were something out of American Horror Story. That should be their next installment – American Horror Story: the delivery room. Someone call Ryan Murphy, I can hook him up with the story for a low low price! It was so bad that at one point I thought I had died and was trapped in purgatory. #NeverAgain.

Nonetheless, I survived and came out the other side with the cutest and chillest baby. I know everyone says they have the best baby, but how many of you can say your baby has let you sleep all night since day 1?? Yup! It’s the #truth, reader. Crazy but true!

Alright, so here we are. Three and a half months later and Peanut is still sleeping through the night, still super chill, and cuter every day. In the season finale of How I Met Your Mother, Barney (the womanizer narcissist) has an oops baby and the moment he sees her he realizes what true love is. He says to his newborn daughter, “you are the love of my life. Everything I am and everything I have is yours… forever.” That line was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw my Peanut. And this blog is about our adventures. It won’t usually be this serious, but I wanted to provide you, reader, with some background info as you go on this journey with us.

What I’m watching: My recommendation this week is the two mini series’ on Hulu – National Treasure, and The Accident. Serious in nature, both of these mini series tackle a tragic event of sorts and the fallout. National Treasure dives into a sex scandal of a famous and powerful man, while The Accident portrays the complex emotions that come as a result of a serious tragedy. Both programs are 4 episodes each and you get hooked into watching all four at once! Go watch them and tell me what you think!

Tech Specs: I recently lost my $120 Plantronics bluetooth earpiece and refused to purchase another expensive earpiece, so I searched online until I found the FimiTech ultra lightweight bluetooth A8 (ifimitech.com). Its crazy lightweight to the point that I was skeptical it would work. Its comfortable and has noise cancellation, as well as a dedicated mute button that you can also set up for Siri use. Plus their customer service is amazing – which is a big factor in whether I recommend something. For $36 you get a high end quality earpiece at a low end price.

Random thought of the week: Nothing. Lol. My brain feels fried. I’ve done a lot of peopling this week (social interactions) and although I love my people, it’s exhausting. My body and brain hurt. I just need to sleep and watch mindless TV for a while… I promise better randomness next time!