a confession.

I have a confession to make… Last Christmas I made a Christmas wish; asked for a Christmas miracle. I wanted my parents to stay in town a bit longer so they could spend more time with Peanut, and I wanted my bosses to learn their lesson for being so insensitive and (frankly irresponsible) when it came to telework based on a medical condition – they fought me, tormented me, and used every gaslighting technique while I was PREGNANT. So I prayed to God/asked the universe/made a Christmas wish for a way for these two things to happen….

Well, folks, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, because a month later – enters stage left the covfefe virus. Ugh. I fucked up y’all. I think the chupacabra virus is my fault. I asked for a temporary no travel, and telework teachable situation, and now here we are. My parents are stuck here on lock down, and my office (along with many other offices) is forced to figure out the telework situation – especially since the office setting is a cubicle cell block that has far too many people in close proximity, in old ass buildings, with shitty ventilation and windows that don’t open.

So the other day I had a very brief moment where I asked myself,could I have caused the cosmic catastrophe of the coocoobora virus??

Of course, I hate the virus and everything that has come along with it, but I have been trying to stay positive, and here’s the thing: I love all the time at home with Peanut. I don’t need any excuse to hide from the world and be in my little bubble of baby, Bob’s Burgers, breakfasts for dinner, bed time and being lazy. I’m required to be here, and have spent so much time turning my house into my sanctuary that I enjoy being home. And I do realize I am extremely lucky to have a home for my little family, and have a job that allows me to secure income and health insurance. That is not lost on me and I am very grateful and thankful. And with the little I have I do try to help those around me.

*New section* Five LITTLE things I am grateful for today: 1) bacon and eggs – it’s just delicious and I could eat it every single day; 2) the smell of Fabuloso house cleaner that makes my house smell fresh after I clean; 3) H&R Block – for helping me do my taxes via a simple app; 4) sugar free Red Bull (the sweet sweet nectar that courses through my veins); 5) Zoom and cool friends that let me join their class sessions so I can nerd out with their students!

What I’m watching: so I started watching that show on Hulu with Reese Witherspoon called Little Fires Everywhere. Reader, the verdict is still out on this one. I understand the racial and class commentary, but the two main characters seem like such extreme stereotypes of their respective categories that it’s hard to watch. This show gets a new episode every week, though, so this may just be a bumpy start to a masterpiece – and I am going to give it a chance to win me over. Anyone else watching it? Thoughts?

Another show I am watching is Tell Me a Story on CBS All Access. It’s a drama/thriller that follows multiple storylines, and as they develop they become more and more intertwined. Each storyline follows its own theme based on classic fairytales. I’m just finishing season 1, but season 2 is already available. It’s pretty entertaining and engrossing – so a good escape from reality.

Tech specs: more of commentary – if you are looking for video game consoles you are OUT OF LUCK! Like many others, I thought this would be a good time to get into some video games I’ve been considering. I looked EVERYWHERE for a Nintendo Switch. No luck! They are sold out at all retailers – even online – except for those random resellers who are gouging you with $100+ above MSRP. I am considering a PlayStation 4 or Xbox but those are also hard to find (but not as impossible or expensive). Any recommendations?

Doggy pics: cozy cuddles

the little things…

this post is NOT about covid-19.

I am aware there is a pandemic. I am aware there are quarantine measures in place. I know some of you are scared. So let’s count the little things together:

  • I am grateful for opposable thumbs. Silly? I know. But think about it – just spend five minutes going about your day without using your thumbs and then say something!
  • I am grateful for this wreteched technology that is being used to scare us but also allows me to check in with my friends and family in Vegas, Chicago, Mexico, Spain, Panama, etc.
  • I am grateful for furbabies. Who love us unconditionally. Who calm us in days like these.
  • I am grateful for Hulu and Netflix. Now, hear me out. Cabin fever is a very real thing. Some people just cannot handle being home indoors 24/7. These forms of entertainment are a way for us to keep our sanity. Get a mental break. An escape for our mind.
  • Good friends who are being safe, pragmatic, calm, smart and kind.
  • Access to supplies needed – dog food, baby food, diapers, wipes, etc.
  • Red Bull. Sugar free red bull. If you ever wanna give me a gift, that’s the one right there. I don’t smoke anymore, hardly ever drink, no real big vices, but red bull? That’s my jam!
  • Rain. It’s been raining the past couple of days. Overcast and rainy. The cool air and the smell of rain on the pavement calms me.
  • Sofia at Walgreens. Really, all the staff at Walgreens that has taken the time to get to know me and Peanut. Who ask about her, chat with me, make it feel like a welcoming place.
  • For me, most importantly, my tiny human Peanut. She is the light and the love of my life. She is a little human right now but she is not a little thing, she is everything. But I couldn’t make this list without her in it. To stay on brand of little things, I’m going to say Peanut’s toes. We have a toes song and she loves poking me in the face with her toes. Especially when I’m asleep. It’s weird and hilarious.

What are your top ten little things? I know you have time to sit down and think about it, after all, you’re stuck at home like the rest of us! Think. What are your top ten little things you are grateful for? Feel free to share them with me. I want to know.

Because another little thing I am grateful for? Is you. That’s right, Reader, you specifically. You are here with me, going through life with me. And you help me by just being there.

*No tech specs, what to watch, or random thought today. Instead, let’s just say I want you to play videogames and watch a goofy movie. Give your brain a break. And the boys will be taking over the rest of the blog:

the outsider.

El Cuco (Folklore Demond): “why were you so quick to accept my existence?”

Holly (investigator): “An outsider can always recognize another outsider.”

Last weekend was my sister’s birthday. I asked her many times what she had planned to celebrate and if we [the family] were going to do anything. She was not sure… The day came and went and I never heard from her. A few days later I learned that her boyfriend threw her a surprise birthday party. I was not invited because it was only for “close friends.”

This got me thinking about how I am an outsider. I have friends and I have family (blood relatives) but rarely am I included in life events; weddings, birthdays, holidays, game nights, etc. It’s actually one of the reasons I always wanted kids, because I figured if I wanted to be part of a tribe I had to make it. That’s not to say I don’t have friends that include me – I do. I am lucky to have some close friends who have now become my chosen family, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that even with them I sometimes feel like an outsider. And most of the time, I am fine with it. I have become accustomed to my alone time; I actually prefer and enjoy my alone time (I don’t think people appreciate alone time as much as they could or should). But sometimes, some days, I do stand outside looking in and wonder why I didn’t get to live in a world where I felt like a full fledged member of your life [you: the abstract you].

This disposition as an outsider is my biggest strength and biggest weakness. It gives me such a unique view on life but also exposes an insecurity that many have tried to exploit. Some people have succeeded and some very hard and painful lessons have been learned. Let’s just say I definitely have some scars AND some secret wisdoms to life. This is all to say, Reader, if you ever feel the way I do just know that you are not alone and, to me, you are imperfectly perfect just as you are.

Never be fooled into thinking that you aren’t unique or special just because you are an outsider, like myself. Know yourself and know that even if the whole world doesn’t understand you, it does not mean you are not worthy. I may be an outsider but I know my worth. I know my intelligence and my character. I know I’m not willing to behave unethically because I’m asked to blindly follow the decisions of a bad boss; even if everyone else does. I know I will listen to the same story over and over again just to keep an elderly woman with dementia company. I know that I will always drive with dog food in my car just in case I see a homeless person with a dog because I know that’s their furbaby [their family]. I know that I would wait in line for an hour and then drive seventeen miles to bring a friend a chicken sandwich from Popeyes, just because we share a love of Popeyes. I know that talk to my dogs too much, and I sing to my daughter probably too much too; songs I make up – including a song about playing with her toes. This is me. And for a long time I was made to feel like it was wrong; feel ashamed. But now… if who I am makes me an outsider, then I’m okay with that.

What I’m watching: Netflix cartoons (well, most adult cartoons) are my jam and I’m glad Paradise PD is back. It’s fun and a good distraction from the dramatics of the current state of things going on in the world.

Another show that I’m in love with for it’s serious yet light hearted approach is All Rise on CBS. This show revolves around the life of judge Lola Carmichael, a new judge navigating the world of the law, unique cases, friendships, and professional relationships (which sometimes clash). The cast is filled with diverse characters that provide depth to the story lines. I seriously hope this show sticks around past this first season.

Tech specs: I’m still a huge advocate for the Speck Presidio Grip Case. It’s a sturdy case that provides a low profile so it does not feel bulky while still ensuring drop protection thanks to its unique construction. But the truly best part of this case is the grip part – the lines on the back of the case provide a texture and design that truly create a grip for your hand. This is especially important since smartphones are now both big and delicate. Oh and Not to mention EXPENSIVE! This is a great investment for a secure outfit for your $1k+ smartphone. Best of all, this series of cases is available for most of the leading brand phones – not just Samsung and Apple, but also Motorola and LG, etc.

Random thought: more of a plea – please please please EDUCATE YOURSELF on the COVID-19 coronavirus BEFORE joining the many many people who have flown straight into blind panic and hysteria. I won’t give you statistics and scientific facts because I am not a doctor and therefore would come off as just another opinion, but the cases speak for themselves. People recover from this virus. Only those already compromised are at risk of fatality. You don’t need to stockpile like it’s the apocalypse, just simply WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY AND PROPERLY.

Doggy pic of the day: I’ve been working on my back yard as much as I can lately (you have to work slowly with a busted hip and ribs), and Walter and Charles have been my wonderful assistants!!

counterfeit crooks cause chaos

Yes, Reader, you read that right – I was scammed with counterfeit money. As part of a way to make some extra cash for myself and tiny Peanut, I fix laptops and cell phones. I refurbish, fix or replace the housing, and so forth. I leave items looking CLEAN! So, as one does, I posted a laptop onto the apps to sell locally. I was contacted by a man who wanted to meet immediately for purchase. Upon his arrival, he checked out the laptop and said he only had large bills and needed change – and Reader, my dumbass gave him change to his fifty dollar bill. When he left something simply didn’t sit well; both his demeanor and the condition of the money felt off. I went across the street to a bank and asked they check the bills – informing them of the situation so they knew I did not come up with these bills on my own. It was CONFIRMED – FAKE MONEY! This man gave me fake fifties and hundred dollar bills. Worse of all, I gave him CHANGE! Three ten dollar bills (which may not seem like a lot, but that’s almost a month’s worth of formula or diapers for baby Peanut!).

Needless to say, I have been extremely down and defeated today. I called the police and filed a report, and they took the fake money, so there isn’t much else that can be done. The time consuming refurbishing of the laptop including replacing the battery and power cord, are now all at my person expense; and by extension at baby Peanut’s expense. I am very disappointed in myself and embarrassed that I let it happen. So learn the hard lesson from me, if you also sell items regularly through smartphone apps such as LetGo, OfferUp, invest in a counterfeit marker to check bills before accepting them.

What I’m watching: Love is Blind on Netflix. Singles talk through a stained glass wall in a sort of speed dating format – only able to talk to get to know each other with no physical appearance involved. Sounds fine, right? Well, then these lunatics get engaged BEFORE ever laying eyes on each other. It’s a Netflix original “real human experiment” aka reality show trying to be fancy by using different verbiage. It’s interesting, but definitely one step away to trashy The Bachelor status.

Tech specs: Get a fucking money pen. The counterfeit dual detector gives you TWO ways to verify money (paper bills) is real. Necessary for anyone who often works with cash. $10 for three pens, will save you hours of work, hours of the PD looking at you like a moron, and hours of a headache.

Random thought of the day: they finally ran out of the salt for the salted caramel mocha frapuccino at my Starbucks. Le sigh… I’m too bummed to give you more than that random thought…