silence… and screams.

The sound of silence serves several purposes. Silence is golden. Silence speaks volumes. Silence is deafening. Silence can be a question, but it can also be an answer. Silence can torture you, but it can also comfort you. Silence says everything, while it says nothing at all. In some circumstances, silence is complicity.

For me, silence can sometimes be noisy, as it manifests as static to my anxiety. But silence can also be calming; especially when negativity can be silenced away.

Silence is a choice. Silence tells me everything that I need to know. The Choice to be silent answers all of my questions. I often choose silence. I choose silence as a response, as a state of being, as of means of coping. I love silence; I am comfortable with silence.


FROM SILENCE TO SCREAMING…

VIVA MEXICO!

Today is Mexican Independence Day. As a proud Mexican, I want to share this important day with you all by providing some some history and education on subject. Also known as El Grito, this is a two-day celebration. Mexico’s cry for independence (El Grito) happens on the 15th at 11pm, and the 16th is the official day observed.

The leader of the Mexican War of Independence was a priest. Father Miguel Hidalgo rallied his people during mass on the evening of September 15, 1810, in Dolores, Guanajuato, Mexico. His proclamation that night to fight against the Spanish government became known as “El Grito” or Cry of Independence.

Each year, the current Mexican president rings the bell of the National Palace in Mexico City then recites a cry of patriotism, ending with ¡Viva Mexico!, a phrase commonly use to express our love of country.


Peanut’s playground: The biggest issue we are confronting right now is that Peanut is not used to seeing other people because of covid, so she cries a lot when she does see people. This is good and bad. Obviously, I don’t want her loving all sorts of random folks but I am worried for her social skills in the future. With that being said, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I do enjoy all this alone time with her. It is a lot of fun and love.


Puppy pics: working from home (laziest coworkers ever!)


will you be my valentine?

Growing up I knew a different version of Valentine’s day; I knew it to be: el dia de amor y amistad (the day of love and friendship). Celebrating the day ranged from being with your partner, to spending the day with your family, or the family you made; your friends. It wasn’t necessarily about romance and expensive overthetop corn ball stuff, or needing to have a significant other. I’ve never liked the custom of spending the day either overpaying for dinner and flowers, or being alone crying into a tub of ice cream acting like Bridget Jones (a sad single dumpy spinster).

Needless to say, I prefer my definition of Valentine’s day, and this year I get the best Valentine of all – my baby Peanut! Also, you are all my valentines, and I want you to know that you are special and I appreciate you!

Honestly, I wish the concept of Valentine’s day would become about platonic love and friendship. I remember going out with a group of friends in Mexico, getting milkshakes at a 50’s style diner. No pressure, no sense of inadequacy, no need to impress anyone. Just a day to spend with and remember to say to the ones you care about, “I love and appreciate you. You are important to me.”

What I’m watching: The Outsider on HBO is so interesting! I was skeptical because Stephen King is involved and he tends to fuck up story lines halfway towards the end, but so far I’m really invested in figuring out the inevitable twist. Who else is watching this gem?

I’m also trying really hard to watch Shrill on Hulu. It’s one of those shows that has excellent representation of minorities in lead roles and turns societal expectations on their head, so I really want to show it some love, but I just can’t seem to get into it. Something about it falls flat for me. Do any of you watch it? Does it get better further into the first season?

Tech specs: okay, this is more of a tech complaint – what the hell happened to fingerprint readers on smartphones?? Who decided we didn’t want or need them, and how can I find them to yell at them? I am currently testing a Google Pixel 4, and I personally use an iPhone 11 pro max. Both are brand new devices and the most recent versions available, and BOTH do not have fingerprint readers!! What the fuck tech world?!? Because of this annoying “update” to smartphones (or downgrade, if you ask me), I refuse to get rid of my international Samsung Galaxy Note 9 (dual sim, lightweight, and HAS A FINGERPRINT READER).

Random thought: I want to share the same note I posted on Facebook – I say this with love: this past week I have heard a lot of “not feeling well” from friends… here’s my blanket response to anyone who is feeling even slightly off:

KEEP YOUR CHUPAKABRA BUD LIGHT CHUMBAWUMBA VIRUS AWAY FROM ME!! When your symptoms clear, let me know so I can avoid you for another 4-6 weeks. (Lol!)

But seriously, please be careful out there. There are tons of viruses going around right now that seem to be worse than before. Make sure to take the proper precautions to ensure you and your loved ones can remain healthy during cooties season.

Doggy picture of the week: snuggle session doggy pile up!

Mother of Peanut…

First I want to say, I’m the mother of Peanut and THIS is 2020. LOL. Poor Barbara Walters is going to be hearing it ALL year… Last night, Peanut and I were fast asleep by 7pm. But don’t worry, we woke up right before midnight, so I rang in 2020 with my little girl.

I was asked by a reader if I could break up my blog a little to balance the text with imagery and space – Reader, I have heard your feedback and am gonna try my darn best! I am weary of sharing too many pictures of Peanut, but I realized I have not given you all the full effect and cuteness of my dogs! So I promise to give you more of the three silly dudes that run my house…

So why the picture of fireworks? Because of course, with ringing in the new year, we also had to endure the loud booms of illegal fireworks many neighbors were in possession of. Peanut, being the perfect princess that she is, was not bothered; but my poor boys suffered immensely. Do any of you have pets? What works for you to calm them down? I have tried sedatives, thunder vests, drowning out the noise with music or tv, and creating a little bunker for them, but nothing has worked all that well. Last night was no exception, and I found myself huddled in a corner with three dogs climbing all over me shaking and barking. I need to find a better way to handle these situations since my neighbors set off fireworks every damn holiday!

(left – Walter, center – Charles, right – Vinny)

let me officially introduce my boys

Walter: Is a dachshund I found at the Bradshaw shelter. He was free because they believed he was a senior dog over the age of 10. Imagine my surprise when the vet told me there was no way he was over 7 years old! He was already house trained and knew some tricks. He was so scared to be in the shelter that he wouldn’t eat and just sat in the corner crying. The minute I saw that scared little wiener, I knew I had to give him a home. He is now older and grumpy AF, but sometimes he goes back to those sweet moments of being a total momma’s boy.

Charles: is my little sweet man. I adopted Charles thinking Walter would love a companion – he did not. When I met Charles, I wasn’t all that into him – an awkard fox terrier mix at Front Street Animal Shelter. Truth be told, I was looking for another dachshund… But there he was, this little weird dog making oddly intense eye contact with me. Then it happened… He stood on his hind legs to reveal he only had one testicle. Poor one ball bastard. Right then, I knew he was the one. He still stares at me like he did that first day, in that obnoxiously adoring way. He’s not so secretly my favorite; we have bonded in a way that I’ve only seen on cheesy movies about dogs and their human.

Vinny: was my last and youngest adoption. I did not want another dog, I wanted a baby. After so many failed attempts and a miscarriage, I had 95% given up… I was doing some graphic design work for Happy Tails Pet Sanctuary and saw a picture of this ugly but cute and bizarre dog. An italian greyhound chihuahua mix puppy who had suffered a ton of trauma before ending up at the shelter. Tons of issues – basically, a complete HOT MESS. But at that time, my heart was broken and I wanted to help him so I would feel less useless as a human being, so I adopted him.

What I am watching: I started watching 11.22.63 on Hulu staring James Franco. I’m not a fan of his at all but I am mildly obsessed with the JFK assassination so I thought I would give it a shot. I am only 2 episodes in and like it so far. I recommend this if you are into time travel story lines. Some people I know find them confusing or annoying, so I am warning that it’s basically James Franco traveling back to the 60’s.

Tech Specs: This time I have a sort of weird tech spec highlight – the watch repair tool that comes with most watch straps. I feel like it is worthy of tech spec feature since I use it a ton for customization of my smartwatch collection (which will be featured next time – Samsung vs Apple). This handy little tool has helped more times than I can count – don’t toss it when you get a new watch strap even if it is a quick-release! It comes in quite handy.

Random: I apologize for the extra long post this time, but I realized you were missing out on knowing my dogs! I will be featuring more stories about my nutty little sidekicks… Also, Happy New Year! I wish everyone a wonderful and prosperous 2020.

Christmas… Cookies… & Kings…

This year marked the first ever holiday season for baby Peanut. Being that she is only 4 months old, I was more than reluctant to take her to a family gathering. Holiday season means flu season!

Family gatherings have never been my scene but with Peanut I felt an obligation to comply with a request for attendance to a Christmas Eve gathering. This, however, would not be an appearance without its conditions – I made myself very clear that as a small baby I did not want Peanut to be passed around or held by many of the relatives. And we would only attend for one hour before her bedtime…

Reader, my wishes were in no way respected. My relatives literally ripped Peanut out of my arms repeatedly and would not let me leave. I was livid, disappointed, violated, disrespected… And this all triggered a massive panic attack because of the effect this environment had on Peanut. You see, children sense when there is something wrong and they express themselves when they are unhappy or uncomfortable – even when they can’t speak. Every time someone got in Peanut’s face, she would cry (which was even more alarming given that she rarely cries). The know-better relatives found it funny and kept getting in her face. I did the best I could to stop them while also trying to be polite. I am not ashamed to admit I cried all the way home and the rest of the night.

Despite the way Christmas Eve unfolded, I refused to let anything or anyone ruin my first Christmas with Peanut. The next day Peanut and I made an appearance at two different friends homes; but my friends are respectful and we were places where I felt safe. Peanut and I got home at a decent hour and spent the rest of Christmas snuggling and playing with her feet (her new thing); Christmas lights twinkling in the background, Bobs Burgers on the tv. In that moment, alone in our cozy tiny house, with the dogs sleeping nearby – that’s all I needed for Christmas.

(Not actual cookies mentioned in post, just similar in likeness)

Cookies and treats and foods of all kinds are abundant this time of year. In the family home there was a table covered with many of these items from friends and family, and from all over the place. Some store bought, some home made, but all open and partially eaten – seemingly free game to whoever chooses to partake. SO imagine my surprise when I ate the WRONG cookies! Now, you’re thinking – “what the fuck are the wrong cookies?” Reader, I was confused on that myself! Apparently in a sea of treats and cookies, the three lonely oatmeal cookies in an plain tupperware container were off limits. Now you’re asking, “how did you learn they were off limits?”

Well, it wasn’t until I woke up the next morning to multiple messages that I learned the three lonely oatmeal cookies were off limits. After some confusing messaging (I was real confused because like… who cares?), I was informed that it was the “principle” of the matter. The principle about cookies a friend made (that showed no indication to being special or set apart/saved). The principle regarding the fact that I did not answer my phone (when baby and I were asleep). The principle that I took cookies in a tupperware (which looked identical to others in the house so who would guess it was the long lost twin tupperware that belonged elsewhere?). All this negative energy, assumptions, and accusations over the principle of a simple error… This really made me wonder, how do people choose their battles when they make mountains out of mole hills? What drives a person to say, THIS is the hill I want to die on? Is it nothing better to worry about/no bigger issues in your life? And why is the go-to to assume the worst and self-victimize? Why isn’t the default that it was a simple error? Why the dramatics? Boredom? I’m bored just talking about it…

Baby’s FIRST Sacramento Kings game happened last night! Peanut attended a Sacramento Kings game thanks to her tia Karma – and we got to be in the comfort and privacy of a suite where Peanut was well protected against a sea of strangers and cooties. Peanut was as cool and calm as you would expect from her given what a rockstar she is. She only fussed once when she was hungry, and a second time when she was sleepy – and would you believe it, she straight up took a nap DURING the game! Like, cowbells and cheering be damned! The rest of the time she was all smiles and coos as she cheered on in her ‘Sacramento Kings’ cutest fan’ onesie. Now, the Kings lost but the evening was still a success to us!

(that’s Peanut on the right watching the game)

What I am watching: Rick & Morty season 4! Lets get Rickkety wrecked yall!! This Adult Swim cartoon has a cult following that is more than deserved. It is gross but if you can get past the gross humor, it is also smart and has depth with a wide variety of characters and story lines. Season 1-3 are on Hulu, and season 4 is halfway through on Cartoon Network.

Tech specs: Oddly, nothing to report this time. Still obsessing… I mean… enjoying my replacement Plantronics bluetooth (and may or may not STILL be looking for the lost one… Don’t judge me…

Random: At the Kings game we exited through the stairs with Peanut in my arms I found myself behind a woman also holding a baby who decided to slow down in order to chat with the lady next to her… Naturally, I said out loud: “Less talking more walking, there’s like 100 people trying to get out of here.” The lady then turned around to give me a stern dirty look. People, do you not know me? I doubled down and followed up with, “I don’t take it back! I said what I said. I’m just stating facts!”