Peanut is what I lovingly call my almost one-year-old daughter. It was the first nick name she got when I first saw her – she was just a little peanut in my womb. And this blog is in many ways related to her or the recovery of having her, but sometimes I don’t talk about being a mom at all – So this led me to ask, is this a mommy blog?
I don’t think so…?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but “mommy blogs” are typically based on the child… no? Like, what to feed your kids, how to make organic baby food, poopy diaper face masks, the best way to make a placenta smoothie, etc. Right? And I’m not down with that sort of thing. Don’t get me wrong, Peanut is very well taken care of, but who am I to tell you how to do the mommy thing? And I don’t want to share my mommy style so that all them mommy-shamers can come after me because Peanut is eats Gerber food, plays with the dogs, kills spiders, etc. After a lot of thought I realized this blog isn’t about Peanut, it’s for Peanut. Which is why I renamed it, The Peanut Library. This is a collection of thoughts, stories, and pictures from the beginning of her life, about the world around her. A library for her to read through; and that I’m sharing with you as well, Reader.
While I was thinking about what this blog is to me, to you, for Peanut, I also came to another realization: this would be a mommy blog but part of me is worried about what that would mean.
Let me explain: I have a lot of friends without kids. Not because they cannot have children, but because they chose not to. I, on the other hand, always wanted to have kids and was never able to. As you already know, Peanut was my very last and final attempt. Right when I was ready to give up, the universe blessed me with this tiny human that made my heart grow three sizes bigger – like the Grinch. But what about my friends who don’t want or like children?
Truth be told, I was ready to give them all up, but they proved to be surprisingly supportive. Still, I find myself riddled with guilt when I feel like I have talked about Peanut too much or shared too many pictures. Then I realized in writing my previous blog post that I’m more comfortable writing about my medical conditions than I am about my own child!
Side note: Now, I am a huge advocate for healthcare and mental health because I truly believe that too many people are not receiving the proper amount. I am not ashamed to share about medical issues, and in my brutal honesty I hope to inspire you to be honest about yourself – even if it’s just with your doctor. Ain’t no shame to being proactive about your health! But if I can be so open about my own health, then I think I can be a little more open and proud to be a single mom who loves her baby more than anything in the universe.
Peanut’s playground: I’ve decided to give a regular update on Peanut in every post – even the ones that are not about her at all – so that y’all know how she’s doing. So this section will be called Peanut’s playground.
If you’re keeping track, Peanut will turn 11 months old on the 4th of July and I can’t believe it’s been 11 months already! She’s got a lion mane of curly hair and seven teeth! She is still sweet and devious (she takes after her mom that way) and thankfully she is also still sleeping through the entire night. About a month ago she began really getting into playing with her fur baby brothers but they are not fans of her – we are still working on how to properly pet the dogs without pulling on their tails or ears.