one birthday, one baby, and one bad habit…
Wednesday is my birthday — and I won’t say how old I am because I am aware I look younger than I am. This is in no way vanity; I did not say I was attractive looking, just younger looking. Despite all the fuckery of 2020, personally, it has been a good year. Peanut, a new job I like, overall health… Don’t get me wrong, 2020 has been a terrifying shit show for the same reasons as everyone else, but I am blessed to have this tiny human who gives me a reason to stay positive. This is to say that, overall, I can’t complain. As long as I have Peanut happy and healthy, I just can’t complain.
There is, though, one thing haunting my heart and my head — my bad habit at getting overly attached to friends. I was recently (within the past month) friend-dumped in a dramatic turn of events stemming from a series of misunderstandings and… it still hurts. Like knot in my chest, gotta catch my breathe, delete you off of social media not out of pettiness but so your happy posts don’t make me feel so insignificant and sad, kind of hurts. After listening to my therapist tell me over and over that I am not a loser and in fact worthy of friendship, I couldn’t help but wonder – Am I a bad judge of closeness within my own interpersonal relationships? I have begun to explore whether I care too much about my friends, and if this is the level of attachment to people that I want to teach my daughter. Definitely something I am struggling with and actively soul searching.
On a brighter note: as a birthday gift to me, I hope you go out and do something nice for yourself. Get a special coffee you like (my personal seasonal favorite is the Starbucks Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino), take an extra 15 minutes of “me time,” do some Breathing exercises… Do something that makes you smile. That will make me happy!
VOTE. VOTE VOTE.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to begin in creating a voter guide so all I can tell you is FOR FUCKS SAKE, VOTE!!! BUT, thankfully, I can offer a nugget of golden wisdom from my good Judy who is far more brilliant and made a voter guide to help us:
WEAR A MASK!
That’s right. Now that I’m a mom I will from time to time mom-nag you. Wear a mask. You can breathe just fine. It’s fabric, stop being dramatic. Just wear it. For your safety, my safety, Peanut’s safety, and all the tiny humans, senior citizens, and everyone in between that you hold dear. Wear. A. Mask.