showing off, serious search, and deeply saddened…

I was in a Zoom meeting the other day (as we do in the age of covid) and someone commented on my tattoos. We got into the topic of tattoos needing to be touched up, and I said that with the changing times of covid I do my own tattoo touch-ups myself. Truth be told, I had purchased equipment prior to covid just to learn anyway, so when we locked down I had already started this venture. Shocked by this, the zoom attendees asked me to prove that I had tattoo equipment here; so I showed it to them. This was met by shock and disbelief that I genuinely did not understand. Then someone made a comment, and as innocuous as it was, it has been stuck in my mind. She said, “look at you, proudly showing off your tattoo stuff.”

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Was my initial thought. This lady has also made comments about “showing off” my degrees hung behind me on my home office wall (which, for the record, have been there for years and were not just added for the sake of Zoom meetings).

But this all had me thinking, why is it that displaying a skill or success has to be referred to as “showing off”? I get teased for my accomplishments, and I do not like it. I suppose I just always felt it was good manners not to pick apart and comment on someone’s home; even if its through a video chat. I don’t talk about their raggedy houses and I wish they wouldn’t comment on my home office. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE working from home; and the professional need to have the camera on does not bother me at all (I give good face), but I don’t like these comments.


Peanut loves this kid’s show on Netflix called Cocomelon. It’s a computer generated animation show about a little boy named JJ. The entire thing is a compilation of children’s songs performed by JJ and all his friends and family (and farm animals). It’s cute, albeit slightly annoying AF. As it goes with popular shows, the hot item this year for Christmas x Toddlers is the Cocomelon JJ doll that sings to them. And it is currently sold out and backordered at all major retailers. The earliest you can get this $20 doll directly from a major retailer is late January. Now, I did not get hip to the JJ doll train until late in the game (a week ago). This has apparently been a hot topic among parents with toddlers, and has been long sought after. Stories of people going to Walmart on the release day to buy all their stock; eBay and OfferUp are full up with sold posts of these $20 dolls selling for $50-$100!

As I searched through all the options, I was certain of one thing: I will not pay that much for a fucking $20 doll. Periodt! I searched and searched and then decided I needed to get smart about this – so I came up with a plan. I looked around my house for things I could part with, and I sold these forgotten and gently cared for items online. I then negotiated with a reseller down for a brand new sealed Cocomelon JJ doll.

I am deeply saddened by the passing of my best friend’s mom, Barbara. It was unexpected and an my heart breaks for my brother-from-another-mother Wesley. She was always so kind to me, and so supportive when I was pregnant and after Peanut was born. She would send Peanut presents and check in on her well-being, and was so excited with me and for me. I don’t typically like being around my friend’s parents because of my horrible experiences when I was younger (stories for another time), but Barbara was warm and always made me feel welcomed and accepted.

She is deeply loved and will be terribly missed.

Barbara Bassett-Hayes

Mother, Wife, Sister, Dog Lover
4 December 2020