Lions & tigers & bears…

OH MY!!!

My little Leo (early August baby) Peanut is out of control! This child is crawling like she’s training for the crawling Olympics!! It’s insane. And I wanna give a quick shout out to all of my friends who have been far more supportive of my choice to have Peanut than I gave them credit for. It’s insane how some people you think you will lose when you make a big life change like this, surprise you and step up their friend game – while others unexpectedly bail out on you. It’s been eye opening, but mostly in a good way.

Fuck the tiger king. That’s right. I find it offensive that’s the name of the documentary because a king is a ruler, a royal, a person of status – there is NOTHING extraordinary about the man featured (OR ANY of the people) in that documentary. The obsession with making an icon and therefore giving attention to and proceeds to the trash people that abuse animals and makes lgbt+ people look like predators and drug addicts in this program is disgusting. In a time where we are in a literal pandemic I understand the need for a distraction, but for fucks sake read a God damn book instead of rotting your brains making/watching/discussing/promoting/glorifying this depiction of the lowest form of American trash humans around.

Tigers are beautiful animals that deserve respect.

The bears have reclaimed Yosemite National Park and I could not be happier for them! I love National parks, Reader. You wouldn’t think it, but there is a nature explorer inside this physically damaged tech nerd. Once upon a time I was able to do all the things without my body giving out on me, and I loved hiking, being a first responder, getting down and dirty, sleeping in my truck in nature and waking up to a crispy cold sunrise for a jog… In the before times, before my body gave up on me, I did all the things and I loved it.

I read recently that due to the lack of human presence at the National Parks, it has been reported the wildlife is reclaiming the land – and I couldn’t be happier for them. It is theirs and we as humans are greedy fucks who take over everything, disrupt their homes and their lives, and feel entitled to do so. Out of all things the pandemic has led to, I hope THIS stays the same. They deserve the respect and space that we demand of them. As my old geography professor once said, “I don’t camp or swim in the ocean. I don’t bother sharks and bears in their homes, and in return they don’t come into mine.” It is only fair that we allow other living creatures their right to live the way they were intended to without out intrusion. Perhaps this is Mother Earth’s way of putting us on time out for being horrible children.

Before you call me out as a hypocrite for my prior nature adventures whilst saying we need to stay out of the way, I will add that I hardly ever stayed in National Parks campgrounds, nor did I take up hella space staking up a tent and spreading out like I own the place. I have also never gotten in the way of wildlife. Maybe it is the Native Mexican in me, but I have a deep respect for wildlife and natural land.

What I’m watching: CBS All Access. Okay, I know you don’t want to pay for yet ANOTHER streaming service, but hear me out. If you have a steady income and are saving money working from home (you know, no commute, no purchased lunch), and can swing it, then it’s totally worth it for entertainment – and more importantly in these quarantine times for your sanity! There is: Picard (for you trek nerds), All Rise and The Good Fight (for my fellow law nerds), and lighthearted comedies like Neighbors and Bob Hearts Abishola. Plus lots more – Something for everyone!

Tech specs: I know I have dedicated this section to the Motorola Z4 & Z family in general in the past, but I was to focus on Moto mods. I have the Motorola Z4 (and in fact, this entire blog post and pics featured, was written and were taken on the Z4) with the 360 camera mod, the projector mod, the JBL mod, and the Polaroid instant printer mod. So check this out – the best part about these mods is that most of them are CHEAPER than these accessories with the added bonus of no extra wires and Bluetooth connections etc etc.

Now, the 360 mod is cool but I have yet to find a reason to use it.

The JBL speaker is a great buy! You get your Bluetooth speaker without having to do more than just plug and play! IDK about you but I get annoyed with a finicky Bluetooth connection and just want shit to be simple, so for the simplicity this mod is worth it.

The Polaroid instant printer is not for everyone, and I totally get that. But as a new parent to a tiny human, I want tangible photos of Peanut! I have a hybrid digital instant camera but with this mod, that’s EXACTLY what this phone becomes PLUS so many editing options thanks to the many many Android apps available.

Lastly the projector mod. I know, right, when are you going to use this? Well check it out – we are in quarantine. And as you may have read in my last post, we need to find ways to keep our brains and our hearts active – and this is one of the ways we do it at my house. Peanut and I have started a Disney movie night with movies projected onto the walls directly from Disney+ on my Motorola Z4 with this handy Moto mod. It’s different and fun!

Finally your favorite part of the blog…

Doggy pics: playroom shenanigans!

the little things…

this post is NOT about covid-19.

I am aware there is a pandemic. I am aware there are quarantine measures in place. I know some of you are scared. So let’s count the little things together:

  • I am grateful for opposable thumbs. Silly? I know. But think about it – just spend five minutes going about your day without using your thumbs and then say something!
  • I am grateful for this wreteched technology that is being used to scare us but also allows me to check in with my friends and family in Vegas, Chicago, Mexico, Spain, Panama, etc.
  • I am grateful for furbabies. Who love us unconditionally. Who calm us in days like these.
  • I am grateful for Hulu and Netflix. Now, hear me out. Cabin fever is a very real thing. Some people just cannot handle being home indoors 24/7. These forms of entertainment are a way for us to keep our sanity. Get a mental break. An escape for our mind.
  • Good friends who are being safe, pragmatic, calm, smart and kind.
  • Access to supplies needed – dog food, baby food, diapers, wipes, etc.
  • Red Bull. Sugar free red bull. If you ever wanna give me a gift, that’s the one right there. I don’t smoke anymore, hardly ever drink, no real big vices, but red bull? That’s my jam!
  • Rain. It’s been raining the past couple of days. Overcast and rainy. The cool air and the smell of rain on the pavement calms me.
  • Sofia at Walgreens. Really, all the staff at Walgreens that has taken the time to get to know me and Peanut. Who ask about her, chat with me, make it feel like a welcoming place.
  • For me, most importantly, my tiny human Peanut. She is the light and the love of my life. She is a little human right now but she is not a little thing, she is everything. But I couldn’t make this list without her in it. To stay on brand of little things, I’m going to say Peanut’s toes. We have a toes song and she loves poking me in the face with her toes. Especially when I’m asleep. It’s weird and hilarious.

What are your top ten little things? I know you have time to sit down and think about it, after all, you’re stuck at home like the rest of us! Think. What are your top ten little things you are grateful for? Feel free to share them with me. I want to know.

Because another little thing I am grateful for? Is you. That’s right, Reader, you specifically. You are here with me, going through life with me. And you help me by just being there.

*No tech specs, what to watch, or random thought today. Instead, let’s just say I want you to play videogames and watch a goofy movie. Give your brain a break. And the boys will be taking over the rest of the blog:

the outsider.

El Cuco (Folklore Demond): “why were you so quick to accept my existence?”

Holly (investigator): “An outsider can always recognize another outsider.”

Last weekend was my sister’s birthday. I asked her many times what she had planned to celebrate and if we [the family] were going to do anything. She was not sure… The day came and went and I never heard from her. A few days later I learned that her boyfriend threw her a surprise birthday party. I was not invited because it was only for “close friends.”

This got me thinking about how I am an outsider. I have friends and I have family (blood relatives) but rarely am I included in life events; weddings, birthdays, holidays, game nights, etc. It’s actually one of the reasons I always wanted kids, because I figured if I wanted to be part of a tribe I had to make it. That’s not to say I don’t have friends that include me – I do. I am lucky to have some close friends who have now become my chosen family, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that even with them I sometimes feel like an outsider. And most of the time, I am fine with it. I have become accustomed to my alone time; I actually prefer and enjoy my alone time (I don’t think people appreciate alone time as much as they could or should). But sometimes, some days, I do stand outside looking in and wonder why I didn’t get to live in a world where I felt like a full fledged member of your life [you: the abstract you].

This disposition as an outsider is my biggest strength and biggest weakness. It gives me such a unique view on life but also exposes an insecurity that many have tried to exploit. Some people have succeeded and some very hard and painful lessons have been learned. Let’s just say I definitely have some scars AND some secret wisdoms to life. This is all to say, Reader, if you ever feel the way I do just know that you are not alone and, to me, you are imperfectly perfect just as you are.

Never be fooled into thinking that you aren’t unique or special just because you are an outsider, like myself. Know yourself and know that even if the whole world doesn’t understand you, it does not mean you are not worthy. I may be an outsider but I know my worth. I know my intelligence and my character. I know I’m not willing to behave unethically because I’m asked to blindly follow the decisions of a bad boss; even if everyone else does. I know I will listen to the same story over and over again just to keep an elderly woman with dementia company. I know that I will always drive with dog food in my car just in case I see a homeless person with a dog because I know that’s their furbaby [their family]. I know that I would wait in line for an hour and then drive seventeen miles to bring a friend a chicken sandwich from Popeyes, just because we share a love of Popeyes. I know that talk to my dogs too much, and I sing to my daughter probably too much too; songs I make up – including a song about playing with her toes. This is me. And for a long time I was made to feel like it was wrong; feel ashamed. But now… if who I am makes me an outsider, then I’m okay with that.

What I’m watching: Netflix cartoons (well, most adult cartoons) are my jam and I’m glad Paradise PD is back. It’s fun and a good distraction from the dramatics of the current state of things going on in the world.

Another show that I’m in love with for it’s serious yet light hearted approach is All Rise on CBS. This show revolves around the life of judge Lola Carmichael, a new judge navigating the world of the law, unique cases, friendships, and professional relationships (which sometimes clash). The cast is filled with diverse characters that provide depth to the story lines. I seriously hope this show sticks around past this first season.

Tech specs: I’m still a huge advocate for the Speck Presidio Grip Case. It’s a sturdy case that provides a low profile so it does not feel bulky while still ensuring drop protection thanks to its unique construction. But the truly best part of this case is the grip part – the lines on the back of the case provide a texture and design that truly create a grip for your hand. This is especially important since smartphones are now both big and delicate. Oh and Not to mention EXPENSIVE! This is a great investment for a secure outfit for your $1k+ smartphone. Best of all, this series of cases is available for most of the leading brand phones – not just Samsung and Apple, but also Motorola and LG, etc.

Random thought: more of a plea – please please please EDUCATE YOURSELF on the COVID-19 coronavirus BEFORE joining the many many people who have flown straight into blind panic and hysteria. I won’t give you statistics and scientific facts because I am not a doctor and therefore would come off as just another opinion, but the cases speak for themselves. People recover from this virus. Only those already compromised are at risk of fatality. You don’t need to stockpile like it’s the apocalypse, just simply WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY AND PROPERLY.

Doggy pic of the day: I’ve been working on my back yard as much as I can lately (you have to work slowly with a busted hip and ribs), and Walter and Charles have been my wonderful assistants!!

words that start with the letter F…

Fears of failure frequently feel like foreshadowing of fucking up my family and fur babies.

I have a confession, I still have a hard time calling Peanut my daughter and I feel weird when people call me a mother. Often, this entire thing feels like the sweetest dream that I will wake up from at any moment. When I’m away from her, I have brief moments of doubt; is she real? Is this really my life right now? I was so used to disappointment and heartbreak that I don’t know what to do with this immense happiness sometimes. Professionally, I’ve been harassed and defeated; and had dreams of an alternative profession crushed by people I should have been able to trust as mentors. Romantically, I have been disheartened and defeated. So I never expected I would get what I’ve always wanted: a family of fur babies and fun little tiny human. There’s this cute Peanut human baby who loves me and is my family! How did I get so lucky? It overwhelms me with joy, but it also overwhelms me with fear of failing her and losing my little family.


The next F word on my mind is friends; what that means and looks like. Friending as an adult is hard. Being an adult is lonely when you don’t have a partner or even a best friend who is your person, but all your friends do. Don’t get me wrong, I am insanely lucky to have a good group of awesome friends, BUT they all have their person; their ride or die. And I’m pretty sure it’s not me. I don’t think anyone considers me their best fiend; their person. Many times I thought I had found my person but I was soul crushingly wrong… But I still hope…


For fucks sake freaking shake it off!! That’s right, I am yelling at myself in my own blog. Told you this would be a wild/weird ride… So other much happier things to report: Peanut is amazing! She’s rambling a ton and squirming around like the little sixth month old that she is. Her personality grows with each day and it’s so cool to get to watch. She is also beginning to build an adorable bond with Charles. My little man Charles, the terrier mix, is turning into a great big brother. He watches Peanut closely and protects her; cuddling with her feet and sleeping with her during naps time.


What I’m watching: in case you didn’t get the clue above, Grey’s Anatomy. We are now in the 16th season and it’s been a bumpy ride. I have seen all of the seasons and up to the current episodes and have stuck by the good, the bad, and the ugly… I screamed at the tv when Izzy recovered from stage 4 brain cancer (since it happened after my Lori had died of stage 4 cancer)… I briefly lost faith in love when they killed off Derek… but I remain a loyal watcher. Even when it is bad, I have gotten to the point of this parasocial relationship where I can’t abandon Meredith (Ellen Pompeo). Don’t judge me. Lol.


Tech specs: I’m getting back into the swing of things with house projects. There’s much to be done with my back yard, front yard and office. One thing I have always been terrible at is using the damn tape measure on long distances by myself – enter the Stanley 30 Pocket Laser Distance Measure. This thing is AMAZING. Extremely tiny, pocket sized, usb rechargeable, laser measure. I have been using this little guy all month and it makes taking measurements a breeze – such a time saver!


Random thoughts: I try not to be political or super religious on this blog because I want everyone to feel welcomed and included in my journey. I want you in my life even if we don’t agree on everything – it’s important to be friends with and try to understand people who’s truths are different than mine. But with that being said, I will share my personal sentiment on the current democratic race for the primaries – simply for pragmatic reasons, there are some front runners that are a bad choice. It’s just the simple truth that die hard fans of those people refuse to see. [Sigh]. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.


Doggy pic of the week: Professor Walter looking extremely handsome while helping me measure and clean the back yard.